More couples are making the decision to downsize or as we like to say “rightsizing” into smaller spaces. Whether trading larger multi-level homes for apartment living or saying goodbye to oversized lots in favor of small maintenance free yards, senior homeowners around the country are on the move into a more manageable home.
The dilemma
Research reveals that people who tend to think their days are numbered will stay put and wait it out, while those who recognize they could very likely live to a ripe old age will entertain other more suitable living options.
This makes perfect sense, right? Why go to all the trouble of moving and getting adjusted to a new place if you only have a short time to enjoy it. On the other hand, if you are going to live for several more years or decades, why not trade your large home that requires continuous maintenance to a more manageable home without the worry of updates, repairs and lawn maintenance.
You see the dilemma. None of us have a crystal ball, so we can’t really know what our future holds. It’s all a best guess. Or is it? Statistics show that an otherwise healthy 80-something can very likely live to be 100.
Family history
Retired couples looking ahead say that having had the experience of caring for aging parents themselves has influenced their decision about whether to go ahead and downsize now.
“I felt like I was a burden on my kids who felt like they had to pop in ever day to see if I was alright. I loved my yard and my house but it just got to be too much. I finally decided I didn’t need a house to clean and I knew I wanted to get somewhere where I could have other people of my generation to socialize with and where I could get involved in some activities” BJ
Moving on their own terms before physical or cognitive problems arise is an attempt at breaking the cycle of guilt that families may experience when having to place older members in long term care centers.
“I have never been able to forgive myself for putting my mom in a nursing home. I will not allow my own kids to carry such a heavy load. We’re making these decisions for ourselves now so they know we were the deciders,” said Joane T.
Love
So, what’s love got to do with it? Apparently, a lot. When it comes to decisions about whether to stay put or simplify, future concerns for the other person are paramount.
“I just wanted to make sure that Abigail’s satisfied. Everywhere we moved I wanted to make sure that that’s where she wanted to be for the rest of her life. Like I said, I’m only going to be here for maybe five more years, nobody knows. She’s up in age too that she needs somewhere that’s safe, somewhere that’s comfortable and a place that has good activity and people around,” said Martin J.
Questions of how a spouse or partner will manage, should they be left to do it alone, is a significant factor when deciding not only if or when to relocate, but where.
Caregiving
Physical or cognitive decline in one spouse usually means the household responsibilities fall to the other. With this in mind, some couples elect to preemptively downsize.
“As my breathing got worse, I knew that things were going to get harder. We decided to go ahead and move to a smaller place where the yardwork was handled. I wasn’t excited about moving, but it also wasn’t fair for me to expect her to do it all,” said Raymond L.
Caregivers, male and female alike, admit the emotional and physical strain wears on them over time. For some, a residential change becomes necessary.
“I couldn’t leave the house without worrying about her. Her dementia got so bad she was repeating the same question five or six times. I knew I couldn’t do everything myself anymore and we had to move. I just wish we had done it sooner and it may not have been so hard on her,” Bruce C.
Timing
As the baby boomer generation ages, senior living developers struggle to keep up with demand. This is true at every level including active adult neighborhoods, independent senior living apartments, assisted living and memory care. This is to say nothing of the shortage of longterm care and skilled nursing beds.
“Being in our late 70’s we thought we were too young to move to a CCRC (Continuing Care or Life Care Retirement Community) . But when looking ahead, we knew we wanted to live in a specific community and were concerned about escalating move-in costs. By moving sooner, we will actually save money. It was about peace of mind.” remarked, Ralph S.
Couples planning for the future know that as demand increases over the next two decades, so will pricing, especially at the most desirable residential communities. Those already residing at such places will experience incremental fee increases, but not the hikes new applicants will most certainly encounter.
Living to 100
As more couples live into their 90’s and 100’s, a new paradigm is necessary. Whether it be considering alternative housing options or creating new and innovative in-home support networks, change will be required.
Such changes may not necessarily be easy. But as it’s often said, “Anything worth doing rarely is.”
For more information about simplifying your lifestyle, Senior Downsizing Experts for a free consultation.
Article by Nikki Buckelew of Seniors Real Estate Institute with contributions from John Sullivan Senior Downsizing Experts
